WHAT?... IT CAN'T BE!!

what's going on?... i know for sure i can't really be as old as my parents say that i am... how can it be that yesterday i was feeling so young (ok, maybe that young feeling was several days ago) & now they're telling me i'm the big 4-0?... 40?... are they really sure they calculated things correctly & didn't maybe, skip some numbers?... i just don't understand how this can be...

i woke up this AM looking like this (smilin' aren't ya?!?)...

i know my face looks a bit 'full', but that's due to me eating a lot of salty foods here lately & getting a bit 'bloated' in the face... for all readers who 'know' me, who're picking their chins up off the ground, this really isn't me (surprised aren't ya!)... it's a swimsuit model's face & my body (oh sorry, the other way around - their body & my face)... i know you were all really wondering how i'd lost so much weight, well truth prevails & i didn't (WAAA!), but one of these days, maybe, juuuuuuuuust maybe i will *wink*...

last night kiara couldn't go to sleep so i went in to lay down with her for a bit... i ended up falling asleep & sleeping with her all night... i woke up at 8:30am WET!... now mind you, i'm not THAT old that i'd be having bladder problems already, but i know wet & wet i was!... i looked & sleeping peacefully next to me was my little girl, wet, but yet sound asleep UGH!... i got up & was telling spike what had happened & he said, "well honey, you can go back to bed if you want, just sleep on the other side"... I CAN'T SHE PEE'D IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BED!!!... welcome to being 40!!... at this moment i'm listening to the screams of my 3y old in the next room as she sits in time out for shaking her cup & spilling water (on purpose) all over the kitchen table... welcome to being 40!!... not that all this has to do with being 40, but it's just funny to think of all that's going on in my life right now & doing it all at 40... in my 30's, 40 seemed so 'old'... i never looked at myself as being 'old', but then again, some days i feel 60!...

what i'm doing at 40?? - i (along with spike) am raising 4 daughters at home... brit's 15 (16 in july), hormonal as all get out, but a great kid... she's a big help around the house & a 2nd mommy to our bear cubs... kiara's 4 (5 in may) & about the best little toddler you can find... she wakes up with a smile on her face & is happy most of the time... she tries to 'mother' the 'twins' as she calls them & to our surprise, they let her!... one might say she's the 3rd mommy in this house... ruby's 4 & the best drama queen by far & loves that role & practices it daily (sometimes several times a day - she's trying to perfect it, i guess!)... she's the hardest working kid i know & can pull well over 2 times her weight i think... she's very competitive & strives to 'prove' that she can do whatever needs to be done (sometimes things she's NOT supposed to do!) & then there's karleigh who's 3... she's such a joy, but boy's she sneaky!... out of the twins, she's usually the 'leader of the pack' & loves that title... she's the most cuddly little thing that loves to be held, but boy when she's hot, watch out!!... i know she's really a redhead underneath all that black hair!... even though dustin's out of the house, i think of him & pray for him often... he's working hard on getting his life squared around & seems to be improving in that area - YEAH... keeping up with all of them can be tiring to say the least, but it's so worth it in the end... i really don't do much for spike in his business, but picking up prints or something like that from the print shop so that really doesn't count, does it?... i've been helping dad/mom A LOT here lately preparing their dossier... i know first hand how much work's involved in putting one of those together & so in the beginning i told mom, "i'm going to run your fanny in the ground to get this done quickly, so when i say do something, please don't question me, just do it!"... she said alright, but i was secretly laughing inside as i knew what that would involve & i knew she'd have a hard time keeping up... it took me 2+ months to complete kiara's dossier as i'd no idea what in the world i was doing... 1 month to complete karleigh's, but less than 2 weeks to complete ruby's - so seeing how long it would take her was going to be fun!... they committed to madisyn on february 14 & 3 weeks later they're done!!... i still can't believe it... i'd tell them to do 'this' & by that evening she'd be calling me saying, "alright, that's done, what next?"... i'm so proud of them & their hard work (& believe me hard work's an understatement)... i also need to publically thank paralegal on call http://protectourchildren@pocinc.org for their amazing working on getting to their home, doing the homestudy, getting it written up, notarized & to them all in just 3 days (go vickie!)... it all then went to our fabulous translator who worked on it at lightning speed to get it finished, which she did & we so want to thank her for that (thank you nikki - again!)... at that time it went to their psychologist, whom we'd used for all our adoptions & although his daughter was getting married & he had tons of things to do & his mind needed to be anywhere except on doing a psychological evaluation for someone, he still came through & got it done (thanks phil!)

mom got the whole dossier done in just 23 days & we're heading to chicago monday morning to have it haitian authenticated & then it'll be in the mail by that afternoon *smile*... it's been a family project in getting it this far, but will be so worth it when my sister (boy, that still seems so weird to hear!), madisyn, comes 'home'...

as you can see, i've a lot going on, but it's all fun & so worth it & i've a lot to be thankful for (& i am)... not only am i married to the man of my dreams - my bestfriend, we've 5 great kiddos, are very close to both sides of the family (which's still growing), love the lord with all my heart & have made it to the big 4-0, what more could i ask for??... have a great day - I WILL!!