- not looking forward to wednesday...at all -

well, we're down to 'the week' & we're not looking forward to wedensday at all - that's the day that dustin's to be sentenced & although i've known it's coming, i'm starting to really feel the 'knot in my stomach' & the 'can't seem to concentrate on anything' feeling & it's not a good feeling at all

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we had his open house this past saturday & it was very nice - there was a ton of people that showed up & spent most of the day with us - he really enjoyed seeing everyone & i know he was touched - he was with us all weekend & at church everyone prayed over him that he'd be able to handle what was coming his way [no matter what it is] & that he'd begin a new day from here on out - they prayed for as light of a sentence as possible & for dustin to have learned from this mistake & move beyond it - we then went to olive garden for lunch [his fav], as last thursday [the 4th] was his 23rd birthday & had a great time

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he's coming to our house tomorrow night to stay over & i can't help but think [with tears now streaming again]...'will this be the last time i can physically tell him good night before going to bed?' [not that i see him every night as he doesn't live here, but i can call him if i so choose] - i also think,' was yesterday the last time i'll be able to worship with him in church?'

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i do alright for awhile, but then i get to thinking & it tears me up - our little ones don't even know he's done anything wrong or what he's possibly facing...what will i tell them?? - when will i tell them?? - they love their brother so much & it kills me to think of him possibly being sent away & them not seeing him for a long time - ahniér's only 3 months old & if he goes anywhere, she won't even remember him

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well, this post is going no where [understandably so] & so i'm closing up shop for tonight - i don't know how much i'll post over the next couple days, but i will post on wednesday night [might be short] to let you know what the outcome was - please continue to be praying for this entire family as we're all so broken right now - there's to be about 30 family members with him on wednesday, so pray for us to stay upright [especially me] - thanks ahead of time