- WE GOT TO SEE DUSTIN TODAY!! -

me, ruby, dustin, karleigh & ahniér in my arms

[ahniér had been asleep, thus the reason for her looking 'sleepy']

spike, brit, kiara & dustin

man, it was a great day! - we rose at 4am [yes, you read that right], got us all ready & out the door at 6:30am - kiara kept saying, "why are we visiting dustin in the middle of the night??" - we arrived at 10:00 & the plan was that spike, brit & kiara would visit from 10:00-12:30 & then when they'd come out, ruby, karleigh, ahniér & myself would take our turn & visit from 12:30-3

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well, anyone that knows me, KNOWS how i like plans to go according [to what was planned!!] - well, spike, brit & kiara all walked up to building number 1 to 'check in' & get their visitor passes - while there, they were told that due to brit wearing shorts [they were long shorts, but about ½" above the knee, that she'd not be allowed to go in - they're being told this after we've driven about 3½ hours with a van FULL of 'stuff' [ask my dad about that!] - they walked back out to the van & shared the news, just as my 'group' was pulling out things to eat for an early lunch, while we waited - plans all changed at that point & in a hurry it happened - i hurried & got ahniér dressed as she was still in pj's - had to take everyone's earrings out, as we were going to do that during our 'wait time' - we were trying to hurry fast as he knew when we'd be in there & we also knew that visiting hours end at 3, so in order for all of us to 'have our time', we needed to get movin' & quick!

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kiara couldn't figure out why we'd told her that she'd be in the first group & now we were making her get back in the car to go shopping in town for brit some pants, but quickly became OK with it, once she realized that whomever stayed behind, got to eat first! [gotta love that kiara] - ruby & karleigh were also so confused because they'd been told that they were going to eat right away & now we were yanking [yeah, that's a pretty good description of what was happening] their earrings out of the ears & slamming ahniér into her clothing & trying my best to remember everything [to take $20 in quarters only, nothing in any pockets, only can take 1 diaper, 1 wipe, 1 filled baby bottle, 1 small blanket, 1 pacifier & 2 picture tokens to have pictures taken with dustin] - ruby's my one that 'stores thing's in her pockets & i was so concerned that would happen & we'd been told that if they found anything on us [any of us], that we weren't allowed to take, that they'd make us all leave & we'd forfeit our visit...talk about pressure!

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we walked in & there he sat - he stood up & the girls went running to him & he scooped them both up in his arms as if it was only them & him & no one else around - he spun them around & started kissing all over them - karleigh's been the one that's had the most issues with him being gone & she was VERY stand-off-ish with him - she'd sit with him, but he had to ask - she'd look at him, but he had to remind her - it was as if she was very uncomfortable with the situation & was having issues taking it all in - she'd smile all over the place, but look away every time she caught him looking at her - she'd stare at him as if to say, "i remember you, but you're not around anymore" - it was really pitiful watching it all - then there's ruby...she took the situation & ran a totally different way with it - she'd poke at dustin & tell him [while signing] how silly he was & how funny he was - she'd go behind him & tickle his neck, etc. - she'd bounce around there like she'd been there a million times - it was funny to see how 2 little girls that have gone through the same thing, processed it all in their little minds & acted totally different on the outside

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ahniér was very good & let him hold her for awhile, but then he got a mt dew & she began fussing - don't know why as she's never had anything like that, but to her, it looked like something she should have & wasn't taking 'no' for an answer - i ended up rocking her to sleep & she slept for about 2 hours [until they called for 'picture time']

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we went for pics [posted above] & then it was time for us to leave - a knot began in my throat that i couldn't shake & it was all i could do to get out of there in one piece - i made it to the van & then it was our other group's turn - they were back with clothes for brit & they were ready to head in there - i gave them all the instructions that we'd been given & said we'd wait in the parking lot - we ate our lunch then as they'd already eaten while we were visiting & then got everything cleaned up - the wind was whipping around like crazy, so we really couldn't sit outside or we'd have been blown away, so it was 'van sitting' & boy, was that fun! - the girls did fine, but i know they were getting bored, just sitting there - they'd brought things to play with, but all of a sudden, those things didn't seem all that 'fun looking' to them...UGH

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spike, brit & kiara came out when they were finished & we began loading up the van - we were pulling out of the parking lot & looked up on the second floor [dustin's floor] & there he was, pressed to the window as hard as he could be, signing 'I LOVE YOU' to us as we drove out of the parking lot - i looked back waaaay down the road & could still see him watching us driving off...UGH

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one thing i've prayed over dustin while since he's been gone, was for protection - he's not 'street smart' at all & especially in prison, that's not a good thing - i've just prayed that dustin would watch out for him & cover him while he's there - well, while i visited dustin, we talked about as much as we could - one of the things we were talking about was his 'bunkies' - he said, that the 2 guys he shares a cell with are nice, but the one guy that's been the nicest to him is a mexican man across the hall [they apparently can see into one anothers cells] - he said, "yeah, when i first got here, i knew nothing & this guy helped me out with everything - he was always there, telling me what i needed to do & if i needed anything & he'd have it, i'd either buy it from him, or we'd trade for something i had - he's turned out to be a pretty neat guy & has sort of 'watched out for me' since he knew i'd never been in a place like this before - he's in his 40's & all in all seems like he cares & is just plain NICE - i said, "well, i'm glad he's helped you out at a time when you needed a friend - from what you're telling me, he's been just that to you...a friend" - dustin said, "yeah, he really is" - i began asking about people in there & what they go by [their real names or nicknames] - he said, "oh, most everyone goes by nicknames, except me & this 'friend' across the way - we just use our real names, i don't know why...just because" - i said, "what's his name?" - he said [smiling], "JESUS!" [keep in mind he's mexican & so it's pronounced differently] - now don't get me wrong, i'm not saying this mexican guy's the real messiah, but his name's jesus, he's been 'watching out' for dustin since day 1 & always tells dustin, he's 'got him covered' & has 'got his back' & that's what i've prayed for that jesus would do all those things & maybe he's doing just that, through this man - either way, it made me smile just at the thought of it being...jesus & dustin :)

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that's the main part of today & i've still got lots to do & it's already 10:30, so i'm gonna close - hope you enjoyed hearing about our wonderful day, as we'd a great time