- THE OLD PAST -

I liked the old paths, when Moms were at home, dads were at work, brothers went into the army & sisters got married BEFORE having children! - crime didn't pay, hard work did & people knew the difference. - moms could cook, dads would work, children would behave, husbands were loving, wives were supportive & children were polite - women wore the jewelry & men wore the pants - women looked like ladies, men looked like gentlemen & children looked decent - people loved the truth & hated a lie - they came to church to get IN, not to get OUT! - hymns sounded godly, sermons sounded helpful, rejoicing sounded normal & crying sounded sincere - cursing was wicked, drugs were for illness & divorce was unthinkable - the flag was honored, america was beautiful & god was welcome! - we read the bible in public, prayed in school & preached from house to house - to be called an american was worth dying for, to be called a christian was worth living for & to be called a traitor was a shame! - preachers preached because they'd a message & christians rejoiced because they'd the VICTORY! - preachers preached from the bible- singers sang from the heart & sinners turned to the lord to be SAVED! - a new birth meant a new life - salvation meant a changed life - following christ led to eternal life - being a preacher meant you proclaimed the word of god - being a deacon meant you'd serve the lord, being a christian meant you'd live for jesus & being a sinner meant someone was praying for you! - laws were based on the bible, homes read the bible & churches taught the bible - god was worshiped, christ was exalted & the holy spirit was respected - church was where you found christians on the Lord's day, rather than in the garden, on the creek bank, on the golf course, or being entertained somewhere else i still like the old paths the best!

- TAMPONS TO THE RESCUE IN IRAQ -

please read the entire story as you'll see how god works in mysterious ways - this' a true story, so keep that in mind, while reading

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my son told me how wonderful the care packages we'd sent them from the ladies auxiliary were & wanted me to tell everyone thank you - he said that one guy we'll call marine X, got a female care package & everyone was giving him a hard time - my son said, "marine X got some really nice smelling lotion & everyone really likes it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it from him." - i told my son i was really sorry about the mistake & if he wanted i'd send marine X another package - he told me not to worry about marine X because every time i send something to him, he shares it with marine X - he said when my husband & i sent the last care package, marine X came over to his cot picked up the box, started fishing through it & said, "what'd we get this time?", but my son said they had the most fun with marine X's package - he said he wasn't sure who it was supposed to go to, but the panties were size 20 & he said one of the guys got on top of the humvee & jumped off with the panties over his head & yelled, "look at me, i'm an airborne ranger!" - one of the guys attached the panties to an antenna & it blew in the wind like a windsock - he said it entertained them for quite awhile - then of course, they'd those tampons - when he brought this up, my imagination just went running, but he continued - my son said they'd to go on a mission & marine X wanted the chapstick & lotion for the trip - he grabbed a bunch of the items from his care package & got in the humvee - as luck would have it he grabbed the tampons too & my son said everyone was teasing him about 'not forgetting his feminine hygiene products' - he said things went well for a while, then the convoy was ambushed & a Marine was shot - he said the wound was pretty clean, but it was deep he said they were administering first aid, but couldn't get the bleeding to slow down & someone said, "hey, use marine X's tampons!" - my son said they put the tampon in the wound - at this point my son profoundly told me, "mom, did you know that tampons expand?" [well....yeah!] - they successfully slowed the bleeding until the guy got better medical attention - when they went to check on him later, the surgeon told them, "you guys saved his life - if you hadn't stopped that bleeding he would've bled to death" - my son said, "mom, the tampons sent by the marine moms by mistake saved a marine's life" - at this point I asked him, "well, what did you do with the rest of the tampons?" - he said, "oh, we divided them up & we all have them in our flak jackets & i kept two for our first aid kit - i'm absolutely amazed by the ingenuity of our marines

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i can't believe that something that started out as a mistake then turned into a joke, ended up saving someone's life - my sister said she doesn't believe in mistakes - she believes god had a plan all along - she believes that 'female care package' was sent to marine X to save our marine - ether way, our efforts have boosted the morale of many marines, provided much needed items for our troops & saved the life of a marine! - god bless every one of you for your efforts & hard work & god bless our marines, army, navy, air force & all our military service personnel - GOD BLESS AMERICA & KEEP IT SAFE!

- WARN YOUR FRIENDS! -

you've heard about people who've been abducted & had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves - my thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago - i went to sleep & woke up with someone else's thighs - it was just that quick - the replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal - whose thighs were these & what happened to mine? - i spent the entire summer looking for my thighs - finally, hurt & angry, i resigned myself to living out my life in jeans & then the thieves struck again - my butt was next - i knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they'd stuck me with earlier, but my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! - i realized i'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts - two years ago i realized my arms had been switched - one morning i was fixing my hair & was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to andfro with the motion of the hairbrush - this was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time - what could they do to me next? - when my poor neck suddenly disappeared & was replaced with a turkey neck, i decided to tell my story - women of the world, wake up & smell the coffee! - those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts, stolen from you & me! - the next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again...was it lifted from you? - THIS' NOT A HOAX - this' happening to women everywhere every night - WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

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P.S. last year i thought some one had stolen my boobs - i was lying in bed & they were gone, but when i jumped out of bed, i was relieved to see that they'd just been hiding in my armpits as i slept - now i keep them hidden in my waistband - thought this was too 'important' not to pass on - have a wonderful day, with a joy filled heart - these same thieves come in my closet & shrink my clothes too! - how do they do it????

- THE SNEEZE -

they walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. - with their rich maroon gowns flowing & the traditional caps, they looked almost as grown up as they felt - dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles & moms freely brushed away tears - this class would NOT pray during the commencements...not by choice, but because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it - the principal & several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling - they gave inspirational & challenging speeches, but no one mentioned divine guidance & no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families - the speeches were nice, but they were routine, until the final speech received a standing ovation

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a solitary student walked proudly to the microphone - he stood still & silent for just a moment & then, it happened - all 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly SNEEZED! - the student on stage simply looked at the audience & said, "GOD BLESS YOU, each & every one of you!" & he walked off stage - the audience exploded into applause - this graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval

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this' a true story & it happened at the university of maryland