what i'm dealing with...

well, for those that know & for those that don't, i'd appreciate all the prayers you can muster at this time... i had open heart surgery when i was 18y old (1986)... i'd had my son & with that came a blood transfusion as he was SOOOOOO big & i lost a lot of blood... well, things were going alright, until several months later i was rear-ended while on my way to church & immediately following, i'd to undergo open heart surgery for a valve replacement as my valve had an infection on it... when looking closer, they determined that my spleen also destroyed by the same infection & could only assume that when i'd received the blood transfusion, the infection could've come from there, layed dormant until the car accident & then got stirred up, landing on my aortic heart valve & also on my spleen... i'd to undergo open heart surgery & then about a week later had my spleen taken out... well, i'm on a blood thinner (coumadin) that i take daily so my blood's thin enough to pass through the mechanical valve that i've got...

well, some of you know i've been experiencing quite a bit of chest heaviness... it's not hurt, but only 1 time, but the heaviness' quite HEAVY... i went into my cardiologist a few months ago for them to check me out, they did & didn't find anything abnormal... they've continued to run more & more tests just to make sure everything's alright... i'd a stress test today & that all went alright, but on my way home, i received a phone call from the dr... she said that my tests weren't normal... she said that i've got significant heart damage... she said at this time she's not able to determine what % of it's damaged, nor could she tell exactly where it's damaged, but she wants me to go back in tomorrow at 4pm for them to show me how to give myself lovenox shots over the next week or 2... i'll also be going in next Thursday (18th) & spike will be going with me for a heart cath... they said that after that test's done, they'll be able to tell us what %'s blocked, where it's blocked & what they suggest be done to fix it (providing it can be fixed)...

i've been through open heart surgery (the old way) & swore i'd never go through that again & still don't want to, but do know they do things differently now then 20 years ago...

i'm also the mother of 5 (3 being 4 & under) & i'm exhausted between:
chasing them all around
carpooling
church
trying to help out our son as he's getting his life straightened out
cooking
dealing with a teenage girl in the home that can be sooooo hormonal
doing housework
paying bills
doing laundry
planning gatherings for haitian camp
dealing with my grandfathers unexpected passing
*& all the junk that followed, with settling up his estate
trips out of the country (which i WILL continue to do!)
etc.

i'm saying all that to say this, please pray with/for me that i get a good report & that it's not as it sounds... i know god's in control & i'm comforted in that fact, but i'm human too & my mind still works & thinks, etc. so thoughts are still racing through it... i know the devil's wanting to take this as an opportunity to scare me & he's not going to do it... i know that god sees the big picture & that i can handle whatever's put before me as i've done in the past, but still would appreciate the prayers... thank you