- I'll never... -

the poem below must have been written just for me with all we're going through - i know others are going through things to0, that to them's just as important, but i'm not them...i'm me - i'm seriously not trying to whine, but feel i'm loosing my mind

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i'm a mom to 6...dustin's 23/homegrown, brit's17/domestically adopted, kiara's 6/haitian adopted, ruby's 6/haitian adopted,karleigh's 5/haitian adopted & ahniér's 5m/haitian/domestically adopted & we live in indiana

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dustin was just sentenced a bit over 3 weeks ago, to 2 years in prison, 2 years work release & then 4 years probation for a crime he committed a year ago - he's never, EVER been in trouble & then boom, he does this! - to say we're all 'in shock' would be putting it mildly

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brit, for the most part is doing fine...for now *wink*

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kiara was diagnosed with ADHD/sensory integration several months ago - she's suffering majorly with not only changes [we adopted ahniér just before kiara's diagnosis, sold our home & moved into a rental for 4 months while our home was being build, then moved into our new home this past october & then a couple months later, dustin was taken away], but with just learning to cope day to day - she's in her 2nd year of kindergarten & we're seeing now that was the best thing for her - we've chosen at this time to go no meds, but are working on a gluten free diet for her & she's accepting it great

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ruby's profoundly deaf in both ears & so we're an ASL family now [american sign language] & need to work daily [literally] in increasing our sign language - she's by far the most stubborn in the family & tries to perfect it daily

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karleigh's right now struggling the most [out of the kids] with her brother being gone - trying to process it all & making sense of what she can - she has meltdowns at least 1 per day & this' a child that never hardly ever throws fits & is about as easy to raise as they come - she's sort of 'getting lost in the shuffle' & i hate that, but feel i'm a one handed octopus trainer & i can't keep everyone 'gathered in' - about the time i feel i've got my arms wrapped around everyone & all they're dealing with, someone starts 'slipping' out of the box i'm trying to keep them in

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ahniér right now's just a smilin' fool :)

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spike & i are working together nicely on making sure things get done, but i feel like it's a loosing battle right now & everyone's suffering - we've had some people make comments in the past in reference to kiara & her ADHD - they think we 'give in' to her too much, that we should 'lower the boom', so to speak & make her do things exactly as we do the other girls - we're not giving in, in our minds, but to keep peace & keep the large household running smoothly [not smoothly, but maybe a bit 'less bumpy'], we pick our battles - we've got so many obstacles in front of us, i'm just tired & tired's putting it mildly - i could go on & on from here [note: that's how i got my screen name], but i won't for your sake - i'm just saying all that [above] to say, this poem's for me if for no one else [thanks rebekah!]

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A PARENTS POEM

[taken from my friend rebekah's blog]

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Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray my sanity to keep.

For if some peace I do not find,

I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.

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I pray I find a little quiet,

Far from the daily family riot.

May I lie back--not have to think,

about what they're stuffing down the sink.

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Or who they're with, or where they're at.

and what they're doing to the cat.

I pray for time all to myself,

(did something just fall off a shelf?)

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To cuddle in my nice, soft bed,

(Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)

Some silent moments for goodness sake,

(Did I just hear a window break?)

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And that I need not cook or clean,

(well heck, I've got the right to dream.)

Yes now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray my wits about me keep.

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But as I look around I know,

I must have lost them long ago!

`

Author Unknown