"what i've said, that will i bring about & what i've planned, that will i do." isaiah 46:11
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

- FORGIVENESS -

today's one of those, don't cross me, i've seen better days, please god, let ME have a time out for awhile...please!, i don't want to make any decisions at all...ever again, i love my life, so why am i so blah type of a day
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i got up 'hot' as someone (et hmm) had turned the furnace up last night before going to bed, so we all woke up with it nearly 3ooº in here & my day (because of the heat), began with a bit of a 'nagging in my head/trying to take on a headache'...how's that for starting out a day!
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as i'm sitting here typing this, i'm just thinking how selfish i am - there are people in the world who've nothing & so what do i have to complain about...really
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some have health issues...i don't...not really anyway
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some are facing death...i'm not...at least not now
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some have lost loved ones...i have, but have gotten through by the grace of god
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some have miscarried children...i haven't personally, but know some who have (including my best friend)
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some have lost their jobs...my husband has a good job that allows me to stay at home & be a mommy
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some have filed bankruptcy...we've never had to
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some don't have family that they feel close to...we have this on both sides of the family
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some can't have children or know what it's like to 'parent'...i'm a mother of 6 (5 with us now & 1 arriving in september)
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some only wish they had that 'special someone'...sorry all, but i've got him! - he's my best friend & one i know i can count on - he's the best father in the world & walks out his beliefs not only on sundays, but 24/7 - (i only wish he had someone just as special, but i fall sooooo short in this area & this makes me very, VERY sad to think of what he's missing out on & how much better his life would be if i were 'different')
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some are homeless...we've a beautiful home that we feel safe in
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i could go on & on, but i won't - i know i've been selfish & for that i'm sorry - i notice in my girls 'traits' that i don't care for & know they've gotten them from me...i'm sorry - i notice things my son's dealing with that had it not been for some of the negative things that i put in him, he might learn things quicker/easier - i really don't know why i'm rambling on & on like this, but now my head really does hurt, so i think i'm going to rest...not in what i've done wrong in the past, but what i'm going to try & do right in the future
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THANK GOD FOR...FORGIVENESS

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