- LIFECYCLE OF AN ADOPTION -

Life Cycle of an Adoption
By Steve Morrison (revised)

1) Nervous Relief - Those documents are out of your hands. Good thing too. You’ll need those hands so you can chew on your fingernails.

2) Anxiety - Reality sets in. Those precious documents ARE OUT OF YOUR HANDS. Oh my gosh, I've no more control!!

3) Glee - “Absolutely, we’ll have our referral soon!”. You’re giddy with building excitement.

4) Jumpiness - Your mail delivery person's scared to death of you because you wait for him/her everyday, in a sprinter’s starting crouch, blasting off like the Rocket Man when you see him/her, almost knocking over the mail truck in your efforts to get the mail. Your telephone never completes it’s first ring as you dive over the furniture to reach it quickly.

5) Intelligence - You become much more intelligent than everyone regarding the ins & outs of adoption. You become a walking encyclopedia of knowledge regarding Haiti, its history & its culture. After all, you gotta occupy your time somehow!

6) Worn Out - You've painted your fence, painted your house, cleaned your garage, hung drywall, stripped wallpaper in the child’s new room, painted the walls, dug/tilled & planted a new garden. Wow, are you tired!

7) Impatient - If I hear one more person ask “So what’s happening with your adoption” or “When are you going to Haiti” one more time, I’m going to run, naked & screaming down Main Street!

8) Inquisitive - You begin calling your agency every hour on the hour everyday without fail.

9) Quivering - You sob a lot. You whine a lot. You lay in a fetal position & rock a lot. (Geez, good thing your psychological evaluation's completed & out of our hands, what would our social worker think of us now!)

10) Animosity - You notice everyone else’s referrals. That shoulda been mine!!!

11) Anger - At everyone & everything. Nothing makes sense. This thing isn’t really going to happen. If it were, I’d have my referral by now. Everyone else in the world has theirs.

12) Religious Experience - You realize anger does no one any good. You notice people who've been waiting longer than you and how nice they are. How can that be? Are they crazy? You begin to understand that God’s plan's for you to have a certain, special child. That you'll get that child. It may take time, but there's a plan. You begin to lend support to others in stages 7 & 9.

13) Acceptance - No more anger left. Some sadness though. But, it’s out of your hands & in the hands of God. So, you roll with the punches & wait calmly.

14) Referral - After awakening from fainting, you begin to acknowledge the fact that you don't remember ANYTHING from what you've learned while waiting. You NEED information. You must prepare to travel.

15) Waiting to travel - Repeat stages 3 through 13, try your best to remember to breathe & have fun on the journey!