- ADOPTION AS GRACE -

november's adoption awareness month so i'll be posting some extra 'adoption related' things

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Adoption as Grace

by Douglas R. Donnelly

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Adoptions are a very special way to start or enlarge a family. Thankfully, there are many different ways to go about adopting or placing a child for adoption. To the woman dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, adoption represents an alternative to abortion that she can feel good about. To the couple suffering from an infertility problem, adoption may be the only way that they can satisfy their overwhelming longing to parent a child. To take two separate tragedies... an unplanned pregnancy & a couple grieving over an infertility problem & to combine them in such a way as to solve both problems simultaneously, is exciting beyond words. Through grace, the birth mother makes a painful but heroic decision & is granted the strength to see the decision through. Also through grace, the adopting parents accept a child into their home & bestow on that child their name, their material possessions & the fullest measure of their love & affection. A special bond exists between birth mothers & adopting parents. They've together, through teamwork of a most magnificent kind, created a human being with a soul & personality, in a way which neither could've accomplished without the other. There's no greater human example of grace. Whether we're aware of it or not, no one has a better understanding of the concept of adoption than the Christian. A Christian's, through God's grace, accepted into His family without limitation or restriction & possesses the fullest possible measure of all the rights & privileges of membership in God's family. As Christians, we believe that we're accepted into God's family not due to any virtue of our own, nor because of our works & accomplishments. Rather, acceptance's a function of God's grace. Likewise, an adopting parent accepts a child into his or her family as an act of grace. This' not to say that there's no expectation of a warm, fulfilling & rewarding parent & child relationship. Viewed from the eyes of the adopting parent, however, adoption's more about giving... the giving of love, companionship & the provision of one's material possessions, than it is about receiving. It's beyond the scope of this article to explore the many implications of the concept of grace to the relationship between parent & child. It needs to be stated, however, that the concept of grace's even greater & more profound application to the relationship between adopting parent & adopted child than it does to the more traditional parent & child relationship. This' so because adoption is, by its very nature, a function of grace. In most states, before an adoption can be finalized, the judge actually asks the adopting parents the following question: "Do you understand that if your adoption petition's granted, you'll be entering into a contract with this state, in which you'll be agreeing to treat the child, in all respects, as if you'd given birth to him or her, without exception?" If the adopting parent cannot give an affirmative response to that question with a clear conscience, that person should not adopt. There's no place for differentiation between natural born & adopted children within one family. Such differentiation's the very antithesis of grace.

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Copyright © 1992 Focus on the Family.