- YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! -

"yes spike, i had a mammogram today, how could you tell?"

`
Pre-Mammogram Exercises

many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there's no need to worry - by taking a few minutes each day with the following exercises a week before the exam, you'll be totally prepared for the test & best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your home

`

EXERCISE ONE: open your refrigerator door & insert one breast between the door & the main box - have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible & then lean on the door for good measure - hold that position for five seconds - repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough

`

EXERCISE TWO: go into your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor's just right - take off all your clothes & lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear of the car - ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast's sufficiently flattened & chilled - turn over & repeat for the other breast

`

EXERCISE THREE: freeze two metal bookends overnight - strip to the waist - invite a stranger into the room - press the bookends together as hard as you can - set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year & do it again

`

you're now properly prepared! - final thoughts for women readers:

`

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

`

ever notice how all of women's problems start with men? - send this to all of the women you know & brighten their day & when we've real trouble, it's HISterectomy

`

yes, i went today for the first time & had my mammogram & although i don't want to do it everyday (unless my kids are driving me nuts & i need a getaway), i will go back every year without fail - it's to important NOT to go!!